|
12:46 am
[Link] | I waste way too much of my time on Livejournal, and at this point I don't even bother updating it. Neither do most of you, so I've made the decision to delete it at the end of the year. There's a few things I want to go through and save first, but if for whatever reason you want to get in touch with me, or at least keep my contact info around, I suggest adding me on Facebook - Antonio Mateiro at NYU.
|
|
02:23 am
[Link] | You know how things get bad. And then they get worse. And then you say that they've gotten worse. And then they get worse again. Yeah, I'm waiting for that last part to happen.
|
|
08:55 pm
[Link] | I really really miss being in a band.
|
|
08:12 pm
[Link] | ...and then it finally hits me just how great a disadvantage shyness actually is.
|
|
12:20 am
[Link] |
Un histoire en francais que j'ai ecrit
J’ai écrit ci cette nuit, et je l’aime. Je sais que personne ici ne le peut pas lire (l’exception est, peut-être, Nick, si il lit le Live journal maintenant?), mais je le publie ici (avec tous des erreurs) de toute façon. C’est un peu bizarre.
Dans la forêt était un fête très amusant. Tout le monde était la, et tout le monde était content. Les enfants avec ses mères jouaient ses joues a près des hommes qui parlaient de l’art et du vin. Tous les hommes portaient les chapeaux et les costumes noirs, et toutes les femmes avaient beaucoup des fleurs que elles portaient.
Quand je l’ai trouvé j’ai cru que je devenais dément, mais quand je l’ai vu, j’ai aperçu que cette fête était pour moi. Mon père, ma mère, mon frère, et ma petite chienne aussi, tout le monde était la, et tout le monde était la pour moi. J’étais entré et quand je m’ai regardé je devenais surpris, parce que soudainement j’étais un homme qui portait un costume noir aussi.
En ce moment, tout le monde m’a vu et ils m’ont approché, et quand ils m’ont salué, ils m’ont embrassé aussi. J’étais heureux parce que je n’ai leur parlé pas pour beaucoup des années. Même si je ne leur parle, ils m’adorent parce que ils étaient ma famille. Mais, c’était trop bizarre parce que soudainement j’ai vu personnes qui je n’ai rencontré jamais. J’ai regardais autour de moi, et en ce moment, j’ai réalisé que je n’ai connu personne qui était ici.
Le temps passait et je mangeais et je parlais avec les hommes ici. Nous parlions a l’art et du vin aussi. J’étais content, mais brusquement, j’ai tourné et j’étais surpris ! Je te demande, qui vous pensez entrer ici ? Devant moi c’est mon cher ami ! Je te dis, c’est pour moi le mieux chose que peux passer ici, parce que en ce moment je n’est plus solitaire. Donc, maintenant, je l’approcherai.
|
|
05:47 pm
[Link] |
I Liked This So I Took it
Ease up there little man. Use less force, Luke. It's gonna blow if you keep this up. You may be making it work, but the rivets are rattling. Where's the breeze? Where's the skip in your step? Where's that little bell on your tricycle? Sure, it's impressive what you're doing, but you know something? We can feel the pain. We sense something being forced. All the labor in the world can't measure up to half an hour of pure, mad, inspired expression. You're dried up. You've been juicing that lime for months and all that's left is green powder. Gun powder. Be careful little man. Get liquid before the sparks start flying.
("Child with a Toy Hand Grenade in Central Park, 1962" by Diane Arbus, from http://gazpachot.blogspot.com)
|
|
11:56 am
[Link] | I wonder if I'm reverting, devolving into older forms. Going back to default. But I must say that my French is getting better and I think I can play a mean Blues. I wonder who reads this shit?
|
|
03:02 am
[Link] | I just realized that today's failed terrorist attack was, in fact, a success. Even by trying to blow up the planes and getting caught, a small group of terrorists have managed to create mass hysteria and fear among the airlines and among out political leaders. Instead of blowing up a few planes and killing a bunch of people, they have instead caused mass transportation chaos and made the already over-paranoid, utterly terrified people of the United States and United Kingdom all the more paranoid and frightened. Thanks to George W. Bush and Tony Blair and their insistence that we become even greater chicken-shits the terrorists, have, in fact, already won.
Other reflections on airline travel:
You can only move through the airport as quickly as the two pensioners in front of you. They will always be moving, very, very slowly.
|
|
03:20 am
[Link] | I think I've begun to understand the secret to the universe, life and everything. Everything is gradually starting to make a great deal of sense, and I have reason to believe that every major religion, is, indeed, quite off the mark.
|
|
05:41 am
[Link] | I'm in England. I have been for two weeks. It's 5:41 in the morning and I've been up since 11am and the past two nights I've only gotten four hours of sleep each. Somehow I'm ok with this but not with the fact that it's five hours ago for the lot of you.
|
|
04:53 pm
[Link] | Don't you just feel sorry for the kind of person who writes articles like this http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/03/doggie.dining.ap/index.html for CNN? Can you imagine how he(for simplicity's sake, I'll just write he) feels? He probably went to some prestigious school, wanting to write about politics or the war, to really make a difference. He probably had internships and part time jobs all throughout college, and maybe he even got his M.J. Maybe he even paid his own way, working 2 or 3 jobs to pay for tuition. Now he writes about dogs getting the right to eat at restaurants, before returning home and crying himself to sleep in his shitty Atlanta apartment, putting ointment on his asshole to cover up the sores that Ted Turner has (metaphorically?) given him. He's a sad man, probably middle aged, probably divorced and probably fat. His kids probably never call, and eventually, after his corporate overlords decide he's useless, he'll probably hang himself from his ceiling fan, only to be found a few weeks later by his bastard of a landlord.
|
|
12:34 am
[Link] | I believe it's approaching the time where I will need to stop and deconstruct the processes that have led to me forming the beliefs I've had.
So everybody sing.
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts... (rest of the lyrics below)
Also, uhh...
Shee-it.
W
HAT DOeS THAT EVEN MEAN?
AND OH GOD, NOW WHat Does THAT MEan?
|
12:15 am
[Link] | Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:
Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.
Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a boll, singin' roll a-bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
Instumental
I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts (They're lovely!)
There they are a standing in a row.
(One, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
(And bigger)
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, thats what the showman said.
Now that hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts.
(La-da-de-da-da)
Hevery ball you throw will make me rich.
(Have a banana)
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
All together now!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
(Harmony!)
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a ball, singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch.
Instumental
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
|
|
01:32 am
[Link] | You know, we're all seriously fucked.
|
|
07:18 pm
[Link] | Richard Branson killed all of the other illumanti and is preparing to take over the world with the Armys of Virgin(s), a new Branson corporation.
|
07:13 pm
[Link] | White people are the best punchline EVAR!
|
06:05 pm
[Link] | I got accepted into the English Honors program. I'm a nerd. Hooray for me!
|
|
09:52 pm
[Link] | My first novel will be about my love-hate friendship with space aliens and America's Mexican overlords from the cuture, an alternate future in which everything is a hundred times cuter but also evil.
|
|
03:16 am
[Link] | I think the secret to true happiness int he modern world is to not work.
EVER.
|
|
08:18 pm
[Link] | Is it odd that I'm really looking forward to January 4th so I can finally see my grades?
On a side note, I'd rather be in California or New York or Canada or anywhere really that isn't New Jersey because good god this place is awful. It's just as bad if not worse than I remember it.
and to think there are people in my family who tell me that "Someday you'll move back to the suburbs" and then they wonder why I call "Bullshit" while I can see the walls closing in on me.
THese are not the words to describe my hatred of this place. THere are no words to describe my hatred of this place because if there were, I'd have written them already.
|
|
04:44 pm
[Link] | Also as a side note, it's December 1st and I've neglected to pay either rent of cable, and the Con Ed bill hasn't come in two months.
Somehow I still have a good credit rating.
|
04:34 pm
[Link] | I have just completed one of the two remaining major papers of the semester. My professor informed us that the other one does not even require a thesis statement (I hate thesis statements).
Rejoice, etc, inc.
|
|
11:25 am
[Link] | Maybe everyone's getting depressed at the same time. Maybe everyone is incredibly lonely. Maybe everyone feels as though their friends are going one by one. Maybe its the winter. Maybe its the holidays. Maybe its this post adolescent angst that other angsty post-adolescents have warned me about. Maybe when the spring comes around again and the days are getting longer again and its t-shirt weather again everyone will be ok again but that's six months away and maybe I'm wondering how many people are going to be ok with that kind of wait.
America has produced an entire generation of ADD infected severely depressed college kids and there is no end to any of it in sight.
|
|
08:59 am
[Link] | New Jersey is really fucking boring.
Current Mood:  bored
|
|
02:19 pm
[Link] |
Huh?
The Idaho state legislature passed a bill commending the guys who made Napoleon Dynamite.
http://www3.state.id.us/oasis/HCR029.html
(taken from Maddox)
There is very little in Idaho.
|
|
06:48 pm
[Link] | Judging by my schedule, I am going to have an easy ass semester in Spring 2006. First class - 11 in the fucking morning. Last class ends at 445.
Oh hell yes.
|
|
07:20 pm
[Link] | This semester is really not going well.
I'll tell myself that next semester is going to be better. All I really want to do is spend a week staring at a nice white wall eating and fading in and out of consciousness.
I need a mental and emotional cleansing. I need a physical cleansing. I need to feel clean.
|
07:18 pm
[Link] | It never fucking stops and they just keep pushing and pushing and either I'm going to fall down or I'm going to start pushing back like a "Raymond Pettibon on a bad trip" sketch.
|
|
09:28 pm
[Link] |
Stolen from Jenelle
There are a lot of movies I haven't seen that I should.
( Read more... )
|
|
07:34 pm
[Link] | Can one define one's self entirely through negation?
|
06:40 pm
[Link] | I don't believe that my actions have any consequences.
I don't believe in language.
I don't believe any body really knows what I'm talking about.
I don't believe that any body knows what anybody is talking about.
I don't believe that if people were capable of knowing what other people are talking about it would change things very much.
I don't believe that life is particularly meaningful, or particularly important.
I don't believe that it is one's actions that define one.
I don't believe that actions are important.
I don't believe that actions will be remembered for very long.
I don't believe that anybody will be around long enough to remember actions
I don't believe that if people are around long enough to remember actions that they will actually bother.
I don't believe that my body will be physically able to sustain itself for much longer.
I don't believe that there is a God.
I don't believe in a historical view of the world.
I don't believe in any view of the world.
I don't believe that the inevitable workers revolt is inevitable.
I don't believe that capitalism is the best we can do.
I don't believe that anybody really believes that.
I don't believe that the economy is very important.
I don't believe that I have any set of terms in which to view the world.
I don't believe that homework is very important really or that my laundry must be done today.
I don't believe that my education is very important.
I don't believe that the academy is very important.
I don't believe that education is very important.
I don't believe that society is very important.
i don't believe that people are very important.
I don't believe that I don't believe.
Most of all, I don't believe that any of this or any idea or thought aht I ever express ever will make any sense to anyone including myself.
|
|
06:30 pm
[Link] | Now that midterms are over I have much less motivation and am very easily distracted. It has taken me four hours to do five French excercises. They usually only take 5-10 minutes each.
|
|
06:33 pm
[Link] | The new Broken Social Scene is really good. In time it may become preferable to "You Forgot it in People". It's very very very (to use a word I only use to describe music, and only once in a while) 'chill'.
Current Music: Broken Social Scene - Fire Eye'd Boy
|
|
07:15 pm
[Link] | I got an A on an English paper, something I have not done since High School, and not only an English paper, but a paper for an English Theory class, which is in itself a great feat.
That is all. I am content.
|
|
10:49 pm
[Link] | This isn't fucking weather.
This is GOD BEING AN ASSHOLE.
|
|
09:58 pm
[Link] | My mind is in a state of complete disarray (sp).
On May 1st, I want to move into a really nice apartment, preferably in Manhattan. This room is small, and it's distracting and it's dirty because the fact is, I simply lack the physical space to make the physical movements that are necessary to clean most spaces and I also lack the time to move things around in such a way that cleaning those spaces becomes possible.
So, instead of studying French, I've spent most of the last hour looking at apartment listings online.
|
|
12:26 pm
[Link] | I feel as though I need to make significant and sweeping changes in my life and I feel liek this should be done sometime in the not too distant future. I feel stagnant.
I don't know what exactly needs to change, but I know it needs to. I know I need to get rid of this job. I know I need to do something differently in regards to school, but beyond that I have no clear ideas.
Life is strange, absurd even, but I like absurd and I appreciate strange. So what am I doing wrong?
|
|
02:41 pm
[Link] | It's really interesting to play the audio file of Kanye West ranting about George Bush over Xiu Xiu songs, especially over the quiet parts.
Current Music: Xiu Xiu - Apistat Commander and Kanye West talking bout Bush
|
|
11:09 pm
[Link] | Part of me wonders if Katrina is God's way of punishing the South for voting Bush.
Then I remember that New Orleans probably went for Kerry.
I'm torn.
|
|
09:13 am
[Link] | Updating out of some strange sense of obligation, as if any of you A) read this, B) care what I have to say, as if I said anything in here anyway.
All I really do is ramble. One ridiculous thought leads to another ridiculous thought without any themes or overarching ideas. Again, it's just masturbation.
( Read more... )
|
|
03:49 am
[Link] | This is my Portuguese side. Work is like my cocaine.
|
|
08:13 pm
[Link] | I've decided that when I graduate college I'm going to buy myself a new iPod as a present from me to me, but only if they have a 100 gig + model out by then. The 60 gig simply won't be enough at that time.
|
|
12:47 am
[Link] | Thank you for your e-mail. Each and every piece of correspondence I receive is important because it allows me to better understand the New Yorkers I serve in the United States Senate.
As you can imagine, my office receives a great number of messages every day regarding a variety of issues – this is particularly true of e-mails. It makes me proud to know that my constituents take an active role in our government by corresponding with me, and I look forward to responding to your concerns in greater detail. In the meantime, I just wanted to let you know that your e-mail has been received, and to ask for your patience until I send you a more detailed response.
Again, thank you for writing. Please feel free to visit my website http://schumer.senate.gov to follow my work in the Senate and to learn more about the services my office can provide to you.
Warmest regards
|
|
02:22 pm
[Link] | I've hit 6900 songs on Itunes. At this rate, I think my iPod will be full by the end of the year.
|
|
09:54 pm
[Link] | It's come to my attention that I've been spending money left and right over the past few weeks.
I'm not saying it's going to stop, but it should... I guess... maybe.
|
|
03:55 pm
[Link] | my mother drunk-dialed me last night.
|
|
02:43 am
[Link] | I've decided to begin transcribing my Logic lectures and keeping all of my note sfor the class and turning it all into wonderful, abstract nonsense poetry, or perhaps writing songs around it all.
Something to show what I mean:
Green ideas sleep furiously.
Instead of saying its meaningless,
We say it's absurd.
A little bit of modification and I could make haikus with this crap.
|
|
01:20 am
[Link] | Well, fuck.
So much for not sucking at life.
|
|
04:00 am
[Link] |
Can you tell I'm feeling... unhappy?
Me venting about a grad student who taught the stats course I'm in the process of completing.
( Read more... )
|
|
10:25 pm
[Link] | Oh good lord Led Zeppelin are fucking amazing.
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
i_eat_vegans's journal